That's about as horizontal as Sean has ever been--and that's saying something. Success!

If you're wondering what killed Sean in that photo, I'll explain: We joined about 30 trivia crawlers at the 331 on Sunday at 5 pm, and more or less didn't stop drinking until midnight. In the meantime we went to five other bars, including one with more naked women than normal, and ran a short trivia round at each place. Winners received free drinks. Meanwhile, we gave clues as to the location of the coveted Laborial Stone, which was ultimately found locked in a box behind the front sign at St. Mary's Church. The keys (there were two, but I think only one was found) were in the parking lot at Jax Cafe, under the lights at Sirloin Street and Lobster Lane. The stone gatherer got an extra five points, and the overall crawl winner won a kickass PBR tent and tallboy sleeping bag.

That winner was Kyle, who can be seen here with the team that, once we got down to real trivia at the 331, wound up in fourth place: The NE Honey Co:

Let's look at some more winners, shall we?

First place: St. Peazy!

These pictures remind me of that scene in Jaws, when they catch that first, much-smaller shark, and they string it up so everyone on the boardwalk can have their photo taken with it.

Second place: Double Rainbow Coalition

I can't remember if that's really Double Rainbow Coalition, or Jesus Lizard, the third place team. Either way, here's a video of the Jesus lizard, here's another of the Jesus Lizard, and here's "Double Rainbow All the Way." So now everyone's happy. Very, very happy.

And here are the Specials:

They also got fourth place, except they threw the tiebreaker so they could be Most Average. Well played, the Specials. See you on stage next week.

And here are more photos of Sean after he passed out on the stage:

Funny thing is, I think Sean is still sleeping on that stage. I'll try to wake him up by Sunday. See you there!

-c

All very smart and good-looking folks. See you tonight! The Laborial Day trivia pub crawl starts at 5! We're giving this away!

-c

WINNERS:

1st place: The Wet Dream Team (43/50)

2nd place: Unalienable Wrongs (42)

3rd place: Uptown Thumbs Down (40)

4th place: George Washington Side Boob (40)

5th place: I Like It (40)

Learn Some Shit: Cup o' Soup! (11)

And our Most Average Team (unpictured, bitches), who will be sharing the stage next week and throwing on some tunes that I'm sure will be far better than Lightning fucking Crashes: Fireworks, Schmireworks. Indeed.

See you Sunday!

-c

Yeah, that one's pretty bad. Why are you making that face, Steve? And what on Earth are you eating?

So what did we do last Sunday? Let's see... remembered bad trips through the ages, in honor of Gen. McC's bon voyage trip to Warshington. (That's what you get for drinking Bud Lime, Stan. As a great American once said: Fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon.)

Speaking of which, here are our winners. That warm, victorious glow is courtesy of their spoils, a PBR nightlight:

They're called The N.E. Honey Co., and as their 47 points attest, they are a force to be reckoned with.

Also a force with which to be, if not reckoned, at least considered: Eddie Money Side Boob:

They also had 47 points, and after a tiebreaker loss that may or may not have featured a little gamesmanship, they ended up with their own two tickets to paradise. Assuming, of course, that your vision of paradise includes the Gin Blossoms.

Hey, jealousy: It's The Specials, Ft. the Return of DJ McFierce, coming in a solid third place!

They're sporting their "8" gang signs because that's how deep they rolled last week, much to the chagrin of our Learners of Some Shit. But we'll get to them later; the Specials had 45 points. Meanwhile, I Like Watching You Sleep (below) had 43.

And Suck It Quebec pulled up the end of the prize train with 38 points, winning them a beautiful fifth-place t-shirt:

Our Learn Some Shitters (not pictured) were called Why Do the Specials Have Eight Players; they had 26 points:

Nice face.

And our Most Avg. Team, with a score of 36, was Team Hibernia, who took off before I could get a shot.

Whew. That's a crapload of prizes.

See you Sunday! Fourth of July trivia is going down at our regularly scheduled time. And don't forget about the Bee on Saturday! It's a big weekend, so rest up.

God Bless America,

chuck

You know what I love about this picture? The teeth. You can always tell how well a team did by the amount of tooth they show in their photo. Observe:

That's our second-place team, I Like Watching You Sleep (46/50), who can barely conceal their chagrin, and have chosen instead to conceal their choppers with tight-lipped grins.

But not The Specials (44/50):

Third place isn't about to get these guys down. It's where they're most comfortable, as you can tell by those shit-eaters on their mugs.

Taco Surprise (43/50) aren't quite so thrilled about fourth place:

Although I Like It (42/50), predictably, likes fifth:

Most surprising is out Learn Some Shit team, who clearly is thrilled with their less-than-thrilling last-place finish:

Hey, life's too short to frown about a last-place finish. Show those pearly whites, ladies!

You too, 2001 Sauce:

Because you're our Most Average Team, or M.A.T. Welcome. You're invited on stage next week!

until then,

chuck

Somewhere deep within the darkest regions of this photo lies the lovely faces of our winners, I Like Watching You Sleep (44/50):

Coming in second place--right back where they belong, you might say--and winning a cool couple of tickets to the Guthrie Theater, check out The Specials (41/50):

And coming in third, losing one tiebreaker but winning another, it's Petrograd (41/50):

Anybody know what Wiki page you're redirected to when you search for that team name? Anybody?

Ok, I'll tell you. It's St. Petersburg.

Coming in a classy fourth place, give it up for The Five-Star Trapper Keepers! (41/50)

They lost two tiebreakers in a row. Tough breaks, but hey, they got a $10 Half Price Books gift card for their troubles.

Finally, our faithful fifth-place team: I Like It (38/50)

See you on Father's Day!

-c

The Specials got 38/50 points, which is one of the lowest winning scores we've had in quite some time. I blame the ridiculously hard image round, as well as both "a-doos," which really fucked with folks tonight.

But our winners don't seem to mind! They even brought Scrabble pieces as photo props, they were that certain of their inevitable victory.

The Buttholes, however, don't appear very happy. They were in first at half-time, and tied the Specials in the end, but lost a close tiebreaker to take second:

Although second tonight was two free Dairy Queen Blizzards, so it's hard to be too down about it.

I'd like to pause our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a quick sidebar: The Five Drinks Mentioned in Tonight's Sound Round... WITH RECIPES!

The B52

The Cherry Pie

The Purple Rain

The... Brass Monkey (ok, not a shot. Apparently Sean couldn't think of another shot. Which makes sense, since there are so few of them out there.)

And of course, Sex on the Beach.

For the record, the Cherry Pie sounds like bullshit.

Ok, back to the winners. Third place: Instigation Nation: 37/50

And fourth: Beverly Hills 58103 (35/50)

Learn-Some-Shitters took off before we could publicly humiliate them (we'll be waiting for you, Snuggle Wolverines!). So we instead gave their prize to our Most Average Team: With 28 points, Soviets & Sheela!

We'll also be expecting the handsome folks of Anoka next week to take their place on stage with a free bottle of wine and DJ duties. I already forgot their team name... something about embryos? With an adjective? Yeah.

See you next week! World Cup action starts on Saturday, so expect lots of questions about... movies? History? Geography? Music? Baseball? The usual... anything but fucking soccer.

xo,

chuck

I'll tell you what I am sure of, though: Millions of Dead Crops killed it at trivia. 43/50 points!

Second place: The Specials! (38)

Comin' in third, sporting my favorite team name of the night, it's I Shouldn't Have Touched Your Baby (36)

And who can forget I Like It? I've tried; it's hard. (36)

Guess who else got 36 points? Akhbar's Admirals!

Note the t-shirt. They came in uniform!

Come to think of it, so did these guys:

That's our Learn-Some-Shit team, Real Penguin Empire. Somewhere out there is a penguin t-shirt that didn't get photographed.

xo,

chuck

Coming in with a stunningly perfect and magnificent 50/50 (they had bonus points and all that jazz) was I like Watching You Sleep. These folks mastery of trivia is only equaled by their stunning good lucks and cigarette bumming techniques.

2nd place was snitches end up in ditches with 46/50. They were looking nice too. Well played:

Our brothers and sisters in 3rd were our friends I like It. And boy do we! 45/50

Holding down 4th was Ooey Pooey. Welcome to the Trivia Mafia world! Stick around for more fun than you can throw three sticks at! 43/50

Most Average were the Legendary Poet Tit? I don't think it's Poet. But Chuck can't write properly.

And Learn Some Shit went to Controlled Substance, a team that really controlled the block from time to time, just a reminder that things always change in a trivia minute. Well played, we'll see you back up top in no time.

Remember, get there early for Memorial Day trivia!

(Sidenote: I think the bartenders are all still sleeping off the weekend. Let's hope they wake up by Sunday.)

First place: Slrigwohc (41 points!)

Not only do the Chowgirls make mad-delicious brats, but it turns out they're crazy good at trivia, too. Come on back anytime! Yeeha.

And that right there is our lovely second-place team, Fee Tines a Mady, who rocked it with 39 points, or 13 per movely mady.

And that's it! I Like Watching You Sleep was up there, as was Neutral Ground, but they all took off before I could get a photo, as did the Learn Some Shit team and the Most Average Team, The Snuggle Wolverines, who will be taking their reward next week (free bottle of wine + DJ duties. What an awesome prize!).

OK, that's all folks. See you next Sunday!

xo,

chuck