I relate this to remind you to keep some perspective in life. Such as...

Our Learn Some Shit winners with, well, I won't tell you how many points they had, but it wasn't very many -- here's The Fluffernutters or Sticky Elbows or Cancellation Fees.

Does it really matter how many points you score if you're having a good time, drinking good beer and eating good food? I submit that it does not. Besides, this group got o $10 gift card to Half Price Books! Pretty good consolation prize, don't you think?

After breaking a tie (and using two tiebreakers to do it, a fact that aggrieved me to no end), in third place, with 43 points, here's Xtreme Grape.

This group are refugees from another Monday night quiz, and I won't let on which one. They told me before we started that they always finished 3rd, and, verily, their prophesy came to pass. I hope you enjoyed your time here enough to come back and climb the ladder all the way to first!

The team that broke the tie in their favor and finished second with 43 points is Just the Bear.

A very uninspired team name this week, but who am I to judge? Perspective, people. A very good job by both the runners-up this week.

In first place, with a remarkable 49 points, here's Just the Tip, Just to See How it Feels!

These folks shed their mounting frustration and exploded in a veritable... let's just say that they did really well this week. Sometimes you get nothing but curveballs and changeups and sometimes you get 86 mph fastballs all day. I guess I was throwing batting practice to them -- but even in batting practice, you still have to get your wood on the ball! Great job.

We'll see you next week!

With 20 points, here's our weekly Learn Some Shit winner, (good for a $10 Half Price Book gift card), Sweet Marie.

Look, they tried our new bruschetta!

Actually these two are pretty smart, but they wiffed on the sound round, so maybe they should use their gift card to buy a compilation CD or something. It's their first time on the quiz as a team, but no slack is cut when awarding the coveted LSS.

In third place tonight, with 42 points, is the juggernaut known as Just the Tip, Just to See How it Feels.

They had more of their rotating cast of characters come out tonight, and were rewarded with a $10 gift card, but they would like more. I have no doubt that they'll get more, their knowledge is pretty deep.

In second place, one point ahead at 43 points, here's Can't Text Jesus...

I got one of them with their eyes closed. Oops. I refuse to get into a theological debate, but if you could text Jesus, would things be different? This is the second gift card that this group has won in three weeks, so as the cliche goes, they are butter.

In first place, with 44 points, is Double Dutch Runners!

I am disappointed that they didn't break out any ropes to celebrate. It also looks like that a couple of people who usually join this group were absent. That's okay, since I'm fairly certain that the rest of the winning crew won't bring it up next time. I won't either... maybe.

See you next week! Maybe it will be 40 degrees in February.

First, here's our first winners of the coveted Trivia Mafia Learn Some Shit Award. With a whopping 14 points, I give you Power Ranger.

I feel kind of bad for these two, because I don't think they were really paying attention all the time, but, hey, those are the breaks. They were quick to tell me that they are both in school, pursuing advanced degrees, but the only degree that counts on quiz night is one in nearly useless facts. Sorry. ladies. Don't take it the wrong way.

Losing out on a tiebreaker, in third place with 43 points, here's Sound Round Sucks.

Ironically, they did very well on the sound round, getting 9 out of 10 possible points. They just wanted to express some sort of distaste, because that's the kind of team they are. I kid. This group possesses true grit, and has been competing weekly for at least a couple of years. I admire that kind of loyalty.

The winners of the tiebreaker are the merry band known as Gutcheck.

My camera was running short on battery power by this time, I think, so this is not exactly a stellar shot. Gotta love the fairly crazed look on the right, though. My kind of quizgoer! They were short-handed tonight, yet still managed a good finish. Will too many cooks spoil the soup?

In first place tonight, with 45 points, here's YouTube Tops!

My camera was really crapping out by now, so this looks worse than a shot from my phone, 3 phones ago. No matter. This group climbed the mountain and waylaid all in their path. Or something. Congrats!

We'll be here next week. Will you? If not, why not?

In third place, breaking a tie at 36 points, here are our old friends, Just the Tip, Just to See How it Feels.

They were shorthanded tonight, and they blamed that for their poor showing in the image round. Whiners.

We had a tie at 40 points for first and second place, and the second place team is Just the Geddy Lee. Yeah, I don't get it either.

They were happy with their spot, but if they had only known about the IOQ...? First place, baby!

Speaking of first place, here's a loyal group with a new name for the new year, Bring Back the Bear! Again, I don't get it.

It's good to be back on the blog, and I promise to be funnier next week. Until then...

From the looks of things, you would think that the Uptown Green Mill had fallen into a sinkhole, or that the (mostly) weekly quiz had gone into a long hiatus, or some combination of the two.

Not true.

I've just been too lazy to update every week, bu that will change next week, as the format will change. That's right, we're going all-in with Trivia Mafia ath the Uptown store! We really liked our automomy, but writing a quiz every week is too much of a chore, so this is the result. We're really looking forward to it, and I hope that you will join us. For further updates, you can follow us on Twitter -- @greenmilluptown -- or like us on Facebook -- www.facebook.com/greenmilluptown.

Monday, January 16! Join us!

I have no recollection of the events way back on the 8th, but here are some pictures anyway.

In third place, we have this crew, Paddy O'Furniture.

I like the puppy dog eyes on the guy on the far left.  He must like video games, since I'm standing in front of two of them, and he sure isn't giving me that look.

In second place, here are our old friends 2nd 1/2.

I sure hope that they enjoyed their trip to the Golf Show.  I know they enjoyed their meal.

In first place, for the first time in a while, Spoken Like a True Wildman!

A little shorthanded, but they still managed to come out on top.

Here's last night's action.  I forgot my camera, so a nice trivianaut loaned my his, which was very nice, but if the camera has red-eye corrrection, it wasn't on.  No matter; thanks Cyrus, I owe you a beer!

In third place, surviving a three-team tiebreaker, I give you the husband and wife team, Hunting Dragons (or something like that -- I lost the scoresheet).

I was woefully unprepared for the tiebreaker last night, so I reached into the big bowl of mints at the front desk and challenged the three teams to guess how many mints I was holding.  Tres lame, I know, but it got the job done.  They guessed 49, and I had 52.

In second place, with 92 points, is this bunch, whose team name I cannot for the life of me remember.  That's okay, though, because they couldn't remember it last night either.

That's a box of Finnegan's Irish amber glasses, for a job well done.

In first place, for the first time, here's Slytherer (or something like that).

Oddly, when I asked what school left in the NCAA tournament was located in East Lansing, this bunch knew.  I wonder why?

Thanks for playing, everyone, and we'll see you on the 29th!

See you on the 22nd!

First things first.  Do not argue with your friendly MC unless you have ironclad proof that you know what you are talking about.  On the 22nd, our picture round was Hitchcock films.  Here's picture #1.

The correct answer for this is Strangers on a Train.  After the round had passed and I had given the answers, a woman at the bar told me that I was wrong, that the correct answer was Rope.  I disagreed with her.  She then explained the point of Rope (an explanation that wasn't required, since I've seen both films) and said that she owned a Hitchcock collection and that she was right and I was wrong.

I showed her where I found the picture; it was from an on-line syllabus for a film study class or something like that, a reference that would make me realize the error of my ways, if it were presented to me.  No matter, she was right and I wasn't.

I had to break off the discussion at that point, since I had a quiz to finish, but look at this picture.  Yes, Farley Granger is in Rope, but he's also in Strangers on a Train.  Rope is set in a high-rise apartment and never leaves that room.  Look out that window.  Is that the view from a high rise?  Not likely.  In fact, that really looks like the view from tha dining car of a train.  In short, if you are going to question your friendly quizmaster, back it up or shut up!

On a happier note last week, a group was in for a birthday celebration, and they were having fun and eating homemade cupcakes.  After I gave them some (good-natured) grief for not having enough for me, they offered me one.  It was very good.  So, Happy Birthday, Caitlin!  Even though I'm a week late.

Caitlin's the third from the left.  This group returned this week, so they must have had a good time.  They also suggested that there might be cookies in my future.  If they keep bringing me sweets, I might get fat!  Oh, wait...

On with the recap from 2-22.  In third place we have our old pals, Paddy O'Furniture.

A really nice bunch of guys who never forget what's important.  Namely, pizza and beer.

In second place, here's Olympic Crush on Katherine Reutter. 

Nice team name, nice person to be crushing on.  Did you see what she did after the games?  She said that she was going to give her Olympic medal bonuses to her parents, for all they did for her.  What a sweetheart.

In first place, with about 98 points, Vomicorns!

I may be the worst photographer on the planet.  Thanks for sticking around for the picture this week, folks!

Now for an abbreviated recap for 3-1.  I made things pretty difficult for everyone this week -- the picture round was really tricky, as was the Harrison Ford quotation round.  So sue me!  If you got everything right, how much fun would that be?

I didn't have my good camera last night, and I was going to pass on the pictures, but our 3rd place team, Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, bitterly complained.  "We never win at the 331, and now our picture won't be taken here?  No fair!"  Alright, here's your picture.  Inept photographer + Crappy phone cam = this.

And this was the good shot!  This group was new to our quiz, and I think they enjoyed themselves.

In 2nd, with 81 points, we had Paddy O'Furniture and in 1st, with 85 points, we had Vomicorns.  You can gaze on their lovely visages above, though they both had team members AWOL this week.

As for next week, you need to get to 2626 Hennepin S. and knock off these top two teams!  Do it!

My best moment of the night was when a couple of young women swore at me and told me that the quiz was too obscure and too hard.  That always brings warm fuzzies to my head.  On the off chance that you remember what website to look at for this recap, thanks ladies!

I didn't think that things were going to be particularly difficult, and I was right, at least in the case of the top three teams.

In 3rd place, proving that, for team size at least, bigger isn't always better, with 93 points, Paddy O'Furniture.

Alas, they didn't know their star-crossed lovers.  So very sad.

In second place, with 95 points, Vomicorns.

These are but two of the four members of this team that is relatively fresh to our proceedings.  The other two had to skate quickly because they had to "get up in the morning".  I have never encountered such a lame excuse in my life.  I think I might need a note from their Mother.  To demonstrate what their team name signified, they drew me a picture of a puking unicorn.  If we awarded extra credit, they might get some -- or they might get points taken away.  It's both funny and disturbing.

In first place, with 106 big points, Slab City!

This is another group of relative newcomers to the proceedings, proof that I don't play favorites.  They took the unusual step of bonusing their first round, something that makes me think that they've been keylogging my computer.  Oh, well, time for my deviousness to ratchet up a notch or two.

See you all next Monday for the last quiz of February!

I only missed all football season.  I've been busy!

Last night, we had 10 stalwart teams braving the snow and a particularly nasty quiz.  I think everyone had fun, but I can never be sure.  Holding your head in your hands while being asked a question is indicative of fun, right?

I also tried a little experiment, and went acoustic, since it looked like a light turnout.  I can assure you htat I'll never work without a speaker again.  Thanks to all for putting up with my nonsense.

In third place, after losing a tiebreaker, with 84 points, here's Spoken Like a True Wildman.

Guys, next time you need to flip the gift card right side up, so we can see what you've won.  Apparently, these three never buy produce -- if they had just two more correct answers on the Fruit Varieties round, they would have won.

In second place, after winning a tiebreaker, with 84 points, here's Oh, Crap, a Name.

The tiebreaker question was how far is the driving distance from 2626 Hennepin Ave. to 201 Duval St., Key West, FL, which is the address of Sloppy Joe's.  These guys guessed 1700 miles, and the answer, according to Google Maps, is 1,947, which seems a bit high to me.  If these guys had known a bit more about how many people are in bands, they might well have prevailed.

Our winners on this evening, with a mere 86 points, are Paddy O'Furniture.

Sorry about the breathtakingly poorly composed photo here.  Thanks for holding up the picture round, guys!

We'll be back next Monday Night with more fun and games, complete with a microphone and a speaker!