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4555 Grand Ave., Mpls.
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    Friday
    05Mar2010

    Aaron's On-the-Clock Birthday Bash!

    DateFriday, March 5, 2010 at 08:38AM
    Happy Birthday to Aaron, the ballin'est waiter ever! Nobody does it even half as good as you, Aaron. And by "does it", I mean bust your arse to provide optimal service. And it's refreshing that you are estropia-free - unlike half of the male employees of Kings.
    Ballers
      
    In a stunning tiebreaker victory, The Mighty Ducks take third place! Even though the team is comprised of the entire 11th grade class at South High School, Ducks earned the glory by having a closer guess to the average amount of minutes it takes most people to fall asleep (7). And their heavily decorated sheet adds two extra minutes of admiring-time to my answer sheet grading. Thanks for the effort(s), and congrats you brainy high schoolers, you!
     
    Speaking of tiebreakers, it didn't end there. In fact, it was the duel of the Mayor vs Royalty. The City Council battled another team of regulars to decide the top two spots. But team The Kings & Queens of Kings were only off by 61 stops when asked about the number of subway stations in the NYC system (461 to be exact). Perhaps the most suspenseful tiebreaker atmosphere EVER. Thanks for the Depends® soiling excitement!
     
    Strap 'em again next week.

    

    AuthorSteve | Comment1 Comment |
    Thursday
    25Feb2010

    BREAKING NEWS!!!!! MAYOR OUSTED!!!!!

    DateThursday, February 25, 2010 at 01:47PM
    Apolo Ohno may be the "King of Fouls" according to the South Korean press, but every trivia playa last Monday was a bona fide King of Kings Wine Bar - even the contestants with lady-parts. "Maybe I'm Amazed" by the way you knew "Linda" was the inspiration for Paul McCartney's first solo hit. Or perhaps I was surprised by the shocking fracture of team The City Council, and the two week butt-whomping spree by team Shirley Temple of Doom (formerly St. President's Day Massacre). Let's recall.
     
    The Big 3 (or 4)
     
    Third place fell gently into the beak of team Lady Wrens, with 31 outta 40 points! Nice work, you dynamic duo, you! They will enjoy the single, large sized "Kings Wine Bar" 100% cotton T-shirt - a prize technically won by the splinter cell squad know as Oust the Mayor, who earned 32 big ones. Jennifer and Co. (Kings' mighty staff) went rogue, abandoning Mayor De Young and the City Council - who were filthy-fifth place this week. A bold and bodacious move - which paid off in trivia glory!
     
    Second spot went to team Molgret & Da Boyz, with 34 freakin' points! Yes, the two lasses on the left constitute a single, yet unstoppable female trivia/drinking machine known only as Molgret. Da Boyz are just there to sip sake and act cocky.
     
    And for two weeks in a row - Shirley Temple of Doom (formerly St. President's Day Massacre) take first place! They missed only four points, spurring all other competition to weep onto their outstanding plate of bananas foster. Nicely done, Doom!
     
    Will the Council reform? Will the Mighty Ducks make a comeback? What the hell happened to Pizzly Bear?! 8:30 next Monday...
    AuthorSteve | CommentPost a Comment |
    Tuesday
    16Feb2010

    (Big Butt + Smile) x Trust = Poison

    DateTuesday, February 16, 2010 at 12:18PM
    Well, we had a whole category about love advice lyrics...the day after Valentine's Day. And we had just one president-related question ...on President's Day. A lil caddywumpas, I know. But hey - add questions about Scott Baio and Howie Mandell, and it's all good! Yall knew your Canadians, but not your Greek gods so much. I enjoyed a fair blossom from a cookie bouquet (thanks Amy!). And Molly's team tricked me into saying "my dick's erect" in front of about thirty folks. Forget this nite not.
     
    The Elite
     
    A double tiebreaker? On funkin' President's Day? Dreams do come true. Tied with 33 out of 40 points, St. President's Day Massacre (above) fondled Kahunas of Kings (below) in the quest for first place! Pres was only off by four years when asked "How many years did the 100 years war last?" (116). Sorry about the crappy focus, people. Flipped to the wrong setting. Though I could fib and say that the intention was to capture the images of the winners through the POV of an inebriated trivia host. Yeah, let's go with that.
     
    And third place was achieved by team My Dixie Wrecked, who trounced City Council in the tiebreaker with a closer guess to the year in which the aluminium can was introduced (1964). They were tied with 31 points apiece. As mentioned earlier, the third placers served me up a plate of gullible. I tried so hard to hide my swelling the entire evening (John the bartender is simply irresistible)but I inadvertently disclosed my priapism by simply announcing their team name. Shame on you all. I invite every last one of you scoundrels to join my elite social group - The Pen-15 Club. Just write Pen15 on your foreheads with a Sharpie right before you set out for Kings Wine Bar next week. You'll inspire a certain type of envy amongst the other patrons.
     
    Au revoir...
    AuthorSteve | CommentPost a Comment |
    Monday
    15Feb2010

    Kings Trivia Two-Week Recapper!

    DateMonday, February 15, 2010 at 09:36AM
    Let's take a walk down trivial memory lane and salute the Heroes of Trivia these last couple weeks, shall we? We shall.
     
    2/1

    

    Comfortably in third place, Sheila and Dan knew their Hardware Music from the Sound Round.

    Dolly Parton was one of the artists. You use a dolly to move things. Get it? Fyi, Sheila and Dan are both living humans, despite what this photo may suggest (blame the embarrassing phone feature of the Droid).

    The Dighty Mucks take second place!

    The Emilio Estevez-associated references continue to provide these youngsters with the top-three edge! And despite their appearance in this Droided photo, the Mucks do not crave brains.

    And for two weeks in a row, The Kings & Queens of Kings are the first place victors!

    The previous week they were simply Kings of Kings, but were able to lure some lady-folk to provide some women's intuition - which I'm quite sure helped them answer the question about the third film in the Evil Dead series. Ladies just love those gory, medieval time-travel flicks. Oh, and I didn't have to shoot each team member in the head right after this picture was taken - they are in fact not zombies.

    2/8
     
    My camera is back in order! Kudos again to Becky for allowing me to use (and frequently insult) her Droid camera last week - but it sure is refreshing to take non-Dorian Gray quality photos of our trivia elite.
    Third place went to the lovely ladies of team Hot Mess, with 28 outta 40 points!
    They knew all four NBA team names that don't end in "s", as well as the four main characters of Sex and the City. And their hotness aggravated bartender John's trademark bout of esotropia. And that hat is fantastic.
    Second place was in the lap of Team Thinks Too Much, who is pictured here with first placers Astronaut Wife (aka City Council) - with 30 and 35 points respectively. 
    Two huge scores, one friendly rivalry.
     
    Show up this President's Day night and get you Kings on!
    AuthorSteve | CommentPost a Comment |
    Tuesday
    26Jan2010

    Who the hell is Steve? And who needs him when you have Chuck? 

    DateTuesday, January 26, 2010 at 08:30PM

    Hi Kings! Great to meet you last night. Great thing you've got going on down there in south Minneapolis: Awesome staff, killer food, cool atmosphere, and one of those bathrooms where you share the sink with that cute girl who, like you, just peed. (It's a great icebreaker. Try it!)

    You guys are smarter than I expected, and that's saying something, because I expected you guys to be awfully smart. But your scores were out of this world. Who knew people in Kingsfield know so much about yoga? And who knew there's no such yoga pose as the platypus? (Yoga instructors, I implore you to rectify this. I don't know what sort of acrobatic contortion would best represent a venomous egg-laying mammal with the face of a duck and the tail of a beaver, but I want desperately to see it.)

    Cute!

    Enough of my blubbering, let's look at some winners:

    These handsome gents were your winners, the blasphemously monikered Kings of Kings (now banned in several countries along with Life of Brian). The guy on the right didn't wash his hands.

    Oh hello there! It's the City Council, a.k.a. King's Court, your friendly neighborhood disqualified staff team. Had they not graciously declined their prize, they would have gotten second place. Not bad! But Bartender John, you might want to get that check out.

    If you could see their faces, you'd see unfettered bliss at having gotten fourth place. It's PrivateDinos.com!

    Say hello to Kebert Xela, your actual second-place team. (I know I'm not going in order. Big deal.)

    Finally, say "whaaaadupppp!!" to MN Cobras 143. I think it's some kind of trade union.

    That's all I got. Thanks again for the hospitality King's! I hope to see you again soon. In the meantime, you're stuck with Steve.

    xo,

    chuck

    AuthorChuck | CommentPost a Comment |
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