Hell freezes over: Rocky Horrible Wins

Rocky Horrible: Two words, one team. Pure, unadulterated genius. Well, at least for one night. After tireless months of authentically horrible trivia performances, Rocky Horrible was able to pull out the unthinkable: they won first place at Old Chicago trivia. “They obviously cheated” you boldly suggest. And you may be right, but I doubt it. You see, the members of Rocky Horrible are all about class and dignity: They never interrupt me or use profane language during the game, nor do they ever make obvious, sophomoric sexual references while reacting to questions. They’re just a group of honest, intelligent and gracious competitors; a team that would never think to complain bitterly at the end of every game about how they were cheated, or casually remind me of how stupid and unattractive I am. No, they’re just nice guys and gals who finally got what they deserved: first place. Well done, rocky Horrible, well done. As for the rest of the teams…what the deuce? Sure, the Unluckiest Focks got second, but they can do that in their sleep?! On a lighter note, John the Bartender created the most disgusting drink to date, which I assume Old Chicago will implement in their spring menu. In all, it was a historic night and one that most of you have probably already forgotten…except, of course, for Rocky Horrible, who will never forget what it felt like to be a champion.

First: Rocky Horrible: 45

Second: The Most Unluckiest Focks: 42

Third: Everyone Else: < 42

Host has "gameshow voice" and "no other redeeming qualities" according to trivia audience

Holy people! It was super busy tonight at Old Chicago, bucking the typical January trend of empty tables and lonely waitresses. Of all the places to be in Apple Valley on a Wednesday night, Old Chicago was clearly the ticket. Especially because the only other place to be in Apple Valley would be in your car and on the road, frantically driving out of Apple Valley as fast as possible. But a good portion of you found your way to Old Chicago, and it's a good thing you did, because I was there, and, well, we need each other. Bad. Without you, I don't have a job. Without me...let's be honest: you're weeping right now just thinking of an aimless life without that adorable, gangly trivia guy you see every Wednesday. Your tears, though pathetic, are justified. We have something special going on. But not nearly as special as what The Symbol is cookin'...these dudes tore it up on a night where it could've been anyone's game. The Symbol locked down first with 43 points, meaning it was up to two teams to duke it out for second place. These two teams were Logarto and Rocky Horrible. I love Rocky Horrible, as they show up every week and consistently finish 3-5 points under first place.

But not this week...no way. 

Actually, yes way, as Rocky Horrible immediately lost in the overtime round, finished third, and went home empty handed and broken hearted. Logarto had reason to more upbeat, however, as they won the overtime round and finished in second! And what the hell, every one that competed played a great round of trivia and thank you all so much for showing up!! See ya next week!

First: The Symbol - 43

Second: Logarto - 41.5

Third: Rocky Horrible - 41

Winter finally shows it's face; winter is fugly

We all know Minnesota’s weather can be a bit unpredictable, but it was borderline bipolar this past Wednesday. After a balmy 50 degrees on Tuesday, the temperature plummeted on Wednesday, dropping almost 50 degrees (with the wind chill) by the time trivia started at 9pm. “Who are you, Dave Dahl?” you wonder to yourself, while longingly starring at a picture of Dave Dahl you keep in your wallet. “Stop wasting my time with your boring weather recap…let’s get to the steamy trivia action” you suggest. You little jerk. Well the weather synopsis had a point, and it was that despite the fact that winter finally showed up, a bunch of you braved the freezing temps and buckled up for a solid trivia night. And yes, I’m using ‘solid’ rather loosely, as scores were lower than normal across the board. Well, except for two teams: The Symbol and The Greasiest Cooters. These two teams racked up 44 and 43 points respectively, and, aside from a few select teams that came up a point or two short, absolutely murdered every other team. It was pretty embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as me attempting to correctly pronounce the word “archipelago.” A massive douche, I am.

Naturally, Dave Dahl was there to hand out the first and second place goodies to the winning teams. See ya’ll next week!!

First: The Symbol – 44

Second: The Greasiest Cooters – 43

Third: The Unluckiest Focks – 42

Happy Holidays, yo!

Holy crap. It was a busy tonight, and everyone was into trivia, into Old Chicago, and, especially...into ME. That last part was a complete fabrication, as I am an unparalleled douche, a colossal tool of inconceivable measure. Yeah, I'm a giant loser, but I spend my Wednesday nights around winners, and it feels good. Really good. Not as good as the adult concoctions John the Bartender crafts with his bare hands, however, and tonight was no exception. He made some pretty gross stuff, but they got me in the mood to deliver some trivia, and that's exactly what I did. Remember a few seconds ago when I referenced winners? Good. Because there were two teams that rose above the masses and achieved every breathing beings dream: to finish in the top two in Apple Valley Old Chicago Trivia. Don't act like that's not your dream. And the two teams that did finish up top aren't strangers to success. Second place went to The Corner with 42 points, while The Unluciest Focksfound a way to score a whopping 44 points! I'd say that's unbelievable, but hey, these guys know what it takes to win. That said, most of the teams did exceptionally well tonight, as over 8 teams scored 40 or 41 points, and the rest were very close behind. In all, I'm left jealous and slightly buzzed. But that's cool - the buzz will wear off and I'll be back for more next Wednesday night. See ya there and happy holidays to all...

First: The Unluckiest Focks - 44

Second: The Corner - 42

Best Image Round Ever: Young, Hot, Jews 

Thanksgiving: giving you the excuse to black out on a Wednesday

Holy National Everyone Gets Plowed Night! It was Thanksgiving Eve, and you know what that means: BOOZE. And lot's of it. Because who doesn't like being ridiculously hung over when spending time with all of their relatives while shoveling pounds of food into their mouths? I know I sure do. That's why I had John the Bartender whip me up some libations I could be thankful for...and subsequently regret later. Yes, it was a rowdy night at the O.C., and people were already embracing the holiday spirit, as I was repeatedly thanked for asking easier questions than usual. You're welcome, everyone. Well, especially the winners. If you blew it and weren't in attendance, I'm referring to The Corner and Team Tri-Pod, who both racked up 43 points and faced off in the infamous sudden death overtime round of fake death. Let the games begin! And then abruptly end, as Tri-Pod breezed through the overtime round like a fart through your boxers. And yes, by your boxers I meant mine. And by fart I meant poop. If you haven't picked it up yet, I'm trying to tell you that I pooped myself. Welp...let's go over the winners:

First: Tri-Pod - 43.5

Second: The Corner - 43

Third: The Turkeys - 42