Old Chicago - Apple Valleyhttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/en-US2012-02-15T08:46:47ZSquarespace Site Server v5.11.81 (http://www.squarespace.com/)Hell freezes over: Rocky Horrible Winshttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2012/2/8/hell-freezes-over-rocky-horrible-wins.htmlAlex2012-02-08T20:19:55ZRocky Horrible: Two words, one team. Pure, unadulterated genius. Well, at least for one night. After tireless months of authentically horrible trivia performances, Rocky Horrible was able to pull out the unthinkable: they won first place at Old Chicago trivia. “They obviously cheated” you boldly suggest. And you may be right, but I doubt it. You see, the members of Rocky Horrible are all about class and dignity: They never interrupt me or use profane language during the game, nor do they ever make obvious, sophomoric sexual references while reacting to questions. They’re just a group of honest, intelligent and gracious competitors; a team that would never think to complain bitterly at the end of every game about how they were cheated, or casually remind me of how stupid and unattractive I am. No, they’re just nice guys and gals who finally got what they deserved: first place. Well done, rocky Horrible, well done. As for the rest of the teams…what the deuce? Sure, the Unluckiest Focks got second, but they can do that in their sleep?! On a lighter note, John the Bartender created the most disgusting drink to date, which I assume Old Chicago will implement in their spring menu. In all, it was a historic night and one that most of you have probably already forgotten…except, of course, for Rocky Horrible, who will never forget what it felt like to be a champion.

First: Rocky Horrible: 45

Second: The Most Unluckiest Focks: 42

Third: Everyone Else: < 42

]]>Host has "gameshow voice" and "no other redeeming qualities" according to trivia audiencehttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2012/1/26/host-has-gameshow-voice-and-no-other-redeeming-qualities-acc.htmlAlex2012-01-26T06:02:45ZHoly people! It was super busy tonight at Old Chicago, bucking the typical January trend of empty tables and lonely waitresses. Of all the places to be in Apple Valley on a Wednesday night, Old Chicago was clearly the ticket. Especially because the only other place to be in Apple Valley would be in your car and on the road, frantically driving out of Apple Valley as fast as possible. But a good portion of you found your way to Old Chicago, and it's a good thing you did, because I was there, and, well, we need each other. Bad. Without you, I don't have a job. Without me...let's be honest: you're weeping right now just thinking of an aimless life without that adorable, gangly trivia guy you see every Wednesday. Your tears, though pathetic, are justified. We have something special going on. But not nearly as special as what The Symbol is cookin'...these dudes tore it up on a night where it could've been anyone's game. The Symbol locked down first with 43 points, meaning it was up to two teams to duke it out for second place. These two teams were Logarto and Rocky Horrible. I love Rocky Horrible, as they show up every week and consistently finish 3-5 points under first place.

But not this week...no way. 

Actually, yes way, as Rocky Horrible immediately lost in the overtime round, finished third, and went home empty handed and broken hearted. Logarto had reason to more upbeat, however, as they won the overtime round and finished in second! And what the hell, every one that competed played a great round of trivia and thank you all so much for showing up!! See ya next week!

First: The Symbol - 43

Second: Logarto - 41.5

Third: Rocky Horrible - 41

]]>Winter finally shows it's face; winter is fuglyhttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2012/1/13/winter-finally-shows-its-face-winter-is-fugly.htmlAlex2012-01-13T21:35:02ZWe all know Minnesota’s weather can be a bit unpredictable, but it was borderline bipolar this past Wednesday. After a balmy 50 degrees on Tuesday, the temperature plummeted on Wednesday, dropping almost 50 degrees (with the wind chill) by the time trivia started at 9pm. “Who are you, Dave Dahl?” you wonder to yourself, while longingly starring at a picture of Dave Dahl you keep in your wallet. “Stop wasting my time with your boring weather recap…let’s get to the steamy trivia action” you suggest. You little jerk. Well the weather synopsis had a point, and it was that despite the fact that winter finally showed up, a bunch of you braved the freezing temps and buckled up for a solid trivia night. And yes, I’m using ‘solid’ rather loosely, as scores were lower than normal across the board. Well, except for two teams: The Symbol and The Greasiest Cooters. These two teams racked up 44 and 43 points respectively, and, aside from a few select teams that came up a point or two short, absolutely murdered every other team. It was pretty embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as me attempting to correctly pronounce the word “archipelago.” A massive douche, I am.

Naturally, Dave Dahl was there to hand out the first and second place goodies to the winning teams. See ya’ll next week!!

 

First: The Symbol – 44

Second: The Greasiest Cooters – 43

Third: The Unluckiest Focks – 42

]]>Happy Holidays, yo!http://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/12/22/happy-holidays-yo.htmlAlex2011-12-22T06:04:45ZHoly crap. It was a busy tonight, and everyone was into trivia, into Old Chicago, and, especially...into ME. That last part was a complete fabrication, as I am an unparalleled douche, a colossal tool of inconceivable measure. Yeah, I'm a giant loser, but I spend my Wednesday nights around winners, and it feels good. Really good. Not as good as the adult concoctions John the Bartender crafts with his bare hands, however, and tonight was no exception. He made some pretty gross stuff, but they got me in the mood to deliver some trivia, and that's exactly what I did. Remember a few seconds ago when I referenced winners? Good. Because there were two teams that rose above the masses and achieved every breathing beings dream: to finish in the top two in Apple Valley Old Chicago Trivia. Don't act like that's not your dream. And the two teams that did finish up top aren't strangers to success. Second place went to The Corner with 42 points, while The Unluciest Focksfound a way to score a whopping 44 points! I'd say that's unbelievable, but hey, these guys know what it takes to win. That said, most of the teams did exceptionally well tonight, as over 8 teams scored 40 or 41 points, and the rest were very close behind. In all, I'm left jealous and slightly buzzed. But that's cool - the buzz will wear off and I'll be back for more next Wednesday night. See ya there and happy holidays to all...

First: The Unluckiest Focks - 44

Second: The Corner - 42

Best Image Round Ever: Young, Hot, Jews 

]]>Thanksgiving: giving you the excuse to black out on a Wednesdayhttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/11/29/thanksgiving-giving-you-the-excuse-to-black-out-on-a-wednesd.htmlAlex2011-11-29T05:15:56ZHoly National Everyone Gets Plowed Night! It was Thanksgiving Eve, and you know what that means: BOOZE. And lot's of it. Because who doesn't like being ridiculously hung over when spending time with all of their relatives while shoveling pounds of food into their mouths? I know I sure do. That's why I had John the Bartender whip me up some libations I could be thankful for...and subsequently regret later. Yes, it was a rowdy night at the O.C., and people were already embracing the holiday spirit, as I was repeatedly thanked for asking easier questions than usual. You're welcome, everyone. Well, especially the winners. If you blew it and weren't in attendance, I'm referring to The Corner and Team Tri-Pod, who both racked up 43 points and faced off in the infamous sudden death overtime round of fake death. Let the games begin! And then abruptly end, as Tri-Pod breezed through the overtime round like a fart through your boxers. And yes, by your boxers I meant mine. And by fart I meant poop. If you haven't picked it up yet, I'm trying to tell you that I pooped myself. Welp...let's go over the winners:

First: Tri-Pod - 43.5

Second: The Corner - 43

Third: The Turkeys - 42

 

]]>First Snow fall last night discovered to be so depressing that host can't feel feelings any morehttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/11/10/first-snow-fall-last-night-discovered-to-be-so-depressing-th.htmlAlex2011-11-10T19:20:16ZLast night was just swell. I didn't get pulled over driving through Apple Valley, a bunch of people showed up for trivia, Jon the Bartender was playing my favorite Paula Cole and Sugar Ray tracks, I got another free, unreleased and totally delicious Rockstar, and I successfully lived another day without crapping my pants. Life was, well, I'll say it...amazing. And yeah, the questions were on the tougher side, and I know, the image round moved numerous people a notch or two closer to insanity, and you're right, I haven't showered in 15 days, but most people seemed to have a decent time, if not almost enjoy theirselves. But it was too good to be true...because the Corner had to screw it up and win. AGAIN. I mean, this is just ridiculous...these dudes won last week, and guess who came in second? That's right...The Unluckiest Focks. Again! These trivia giants must be stopped, and it's primarily your responsibility for bringing them down. And don't be discouraged: a lot of you were within 3 or 4 points of first last night. So I know you can do this. Well, I think you can do this....

...

...you probably can't do this. But, hey, it sure is fun to compete, right? Neato.

First: The Corner - 42

Second: The Unluckiest Focks - 40

Third: Every Other Team - Not 40 Points

]]>Trivia host can't do good at math...http://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/10/28/trivia-host-cant-do-good-at-math.htmlAlex2011-10-28T05:04:57ZLast night was just silly. For starters, I showed up at least 15 minutes early, a testament to my storied punctuality and dedication to you, my job and my future. "Wait...you were, like, 10 minutes late" you offer in mild confusion. SHUT UP! Okay...yeah, fine. I was a couple minutes late. Whatever. At least I didn't screw up any of the scoring at the end of the night. "But you screwed up our score, and three other final scores as well. You're a colossal idiot." Look...I went to public school and have the mathematic ability of your domestic pet. You're better than I am, and I'm eternally sorry. Basic addition problems aside, it was a solid night of high scores, boisterous laughs, intimate hugs and occasional tears. It was truly, truly special. Mainly because The Corner racked up 46 total points, and guess what? The game was out of 45. That's right, these trivia jockey's didn't miss a single question AND nailed the Internet Only bonus question, netting them an unbeatable first place total. Following closely behind were The Unluckiest Focks, whose 45 point showing would typically have earned them first place goodies. Don't forget the dudes of Grumpy Old Men, who hit 43 points for one of their best nights, or the ladies of Pink Eyed Pete’s, whose lovely Pepsi rep was kind enough to give me a sample of a new, not-yet-released-in-stores-but-released-in-my-mouth can of coconut Rockstar. That made a great mixer. In all, good times were had by all, even if I can't add 19 + 16.

First: The Corner – 46

The Unluckiest Focks – 45

Worst Rockstar Flavor EVAR: Coconut Urine Delight

]]>Trivia + Host + You = The Vikings Suckhttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/10/19/trivia-host-you-the-vikings-suck.htmlAlex2011-10-19T06:35:15ZI did it again. I ignored you. I didn’t write a blog last week, and it hurts so, so bad. But you know what they say: “Ignore me once, shame on you. Ignore me twice, pay me $50.” I don’t know why they say that.  In any case, last week was another classic example of a team absolutely dominating the competition.  Team Sh!t Sandwich, an illustrious group of Spinal Tap fans, sharpened their mental tools and relentlessly neutered everything in sight. To recap, the sandwich of shi+ finished with 43 points, and guess what?? I even got to take my picture with them!!! Major score. Their easy victory left us with two posers who duked it out in the sudden death overtime round of eternal losers.  Enter The Unluckiest Focks and The Pen(is) Mightier. Now, I’ll be honest…these guys aren’t really losers. In fact, one of these teams wins 70% of the time. Don’t bother checking that math…it’s spot on. Much like the Pen(is) Mightier, who coasted through overtime and took home the coveted second place goods. You guys are super. In a rare outing, The Unluckiest Focks stayed true to their name and ended up with third, running the nightly spread and breaking the hearts of thousands. By thousands, I, of course, mean the two guys that made up the Focks. Disappointment aside, you guys are all awesome, and I can’t wait to see you next time…

]]>Last week was really neat. and stuff.http://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/10/4/last-week-was-really-neat-and-stuff.htmlAlex2011-10-05T00:08:10ZI should start this blog by tirelessly apologizing for my inexcusable lack of blogging. I'm sure all of you, yes, all four of you that actually read this (that includes my parents), have been left confused and depressed, if not completely emotionally devestated. I can only desperately hope that this blog will pull you back, back from the edge of whatever metaphorical building you have been inches from hurling yourself over. If not, well, I can only assume you told your friends and family to celebrate your slighted life by attending trivia in your place. That was so selfless of you, you brave, brave soul. On the other hand, if you are still mentally intact even after I shamefully brushed aside my blogging responsibilities, I sit here in front of you in endless jubilation, immobilzied with anticipation of the next trivia night we will share together, if only for one more night. Yes, it is you, the dedicated trivia participant, that gives me a reason to get out of bed every day. To print out questions. To steal pens from my work. To drive a ridiculous distance from my house. It's all for you. And I will never, ever ignore you again.

Here are last week's winners:


1st: Penis Mightier - 40.5 

2nd: Dr. Unks - 40

3rd: Grumpy Old Men - 39

Last: Drink Created by The Symbol - The Execution of My Liver

]]>Palindrome Image Round Drives three teams to insanity; Twins also Losehttp://www.triviamafia.com/old-chicago-apple-valley/2011/9/12/palindrome-image-round-drives-three-teams-to-insanity-twins.htmlAlex2011-09-12T13:07:07ZWelp the past week of trivia went as planned: a lot of people showed up, I asked some questions, they began to drink, I asked more questions, they began to cry, I read the answers and then The Pen(is) Mightier won first place. I mean, this has happened how many times now?? Even more familiar was the fact that The Unluckiest Focks finished within the top two...HUGE surprise. How did that happen? Yes, this past week was predictable, but let's face it: big time trivia players make big time trivia plays. These guys and gals are good. However, there were a pile of teams that put up big numbers as well, such as The Grumpy Old Men, Ramrod, Logarto, and that team that had the word "Bacon" in their name who will hate me for not remembering the full team name. My apologies, team that had Bacon in their name, I am a worthless, worthless man. My shortcomings aside, everyone played a very strong night of trivia! Oh, except for the Greasy Cooters. They did terrible. Probably because they were too busy harassing me via text during the game to actually focus on the questions  :)

Thanks again for a great week guys...

First - The Pen(is) Mightier - 41

Second - The Unluckiest Focks - 39

Last - The Greasy Cooters - Perverts

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